hello classes 603 and 621,
Ms. Justic and I are working on our descriptive writing. We would like for you guys to take a look at what we wrote and how we mimicked the following snapshot:
The Beach
I was in dazed as I stared out over the vast amount of water.The salty air surrounded my tense body and seemed to be pushing me towards the big blue ocean. I breath in deeply,trying to get myself together before i attemped the long journey from the beach to the ocean. The wind picked up slightly, and the sand began whirling around my legs, stinging them. I close my eyes and began walking forward. Images of sharks and whales began swimming through my mind. I can see there large canine teeth tearing me apart piece by piece. I came to a sudden stop as my bare feet came in contact with the cold, salty water. Chills were racing up my back and I felt the need to turn and run back toward the safety of the beach towel. For some reason, I took another unsure step. The water raced around my ankles now and waves came toward me. I started walking at a steady pace now. The water was up to my knees then my waste. The water felt so good, so refreshing. I soon forgot my fears and began enjoying my first trip to ocean.
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5 comments:
hey Brandon and the rest of the class,
It's me Ms. J. I think your next step is to try writing a snapshot.
Here are two prompts. Pick one and try to mimic the writer:
I walked down a dark alley...
I ran so fast and then...
There were five seconds left...
I ran so fast and then...I was overfeared by the vast ocean teeth. It felt as if the waves were going to overtake my body and make me go bake to the beach towel. I faced my fears and ran with all my might to get to the glittering shiny ocean. When suddenly i could feel the smooth warm water running through my body, going through every vein in my body. It made my shivers cool down and come right out of my head. There wasn't any fear left in my empty body only the cool water that would calm anyone down.
hi its montell and this is my snapshot
i stood in front of the big white door waiting for my mom to answer it. anxiously thinking what mt new little brother would look like
IN CONSTRUCTION.
I think thats a good snapshot.
Is this good?
The wind roared and whistled through the empty forest. The wind knocked the trees into silence.
yo nice snapshot!i don't think I can do better than that...hmmm.come to think about it,i love the part when u said:"I was in dazed as I stared out over the vast amount of water."
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