Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Help me fix this paragraph please....
The wind roared and whistled through the empty forest. The wind knocked the trees into silence. The only sound was Nikki running. The moonlight shone and projected it across the forest. The pacing footsteps of Nikki were fast and silent. Her breath caught up in words, words that couldn't build up the strength to come out. Nikki, running across the forest, out of breath and silent screams escaping her lips. The tiniest sounds made Nikki's heart race. The beating of her heart was fast, too fast. A piercing scream shattered the loneliness of the forest, escaping Nikki's lips as she grasped onto the tree branch.
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19 comments:
I need tips and maybe examples of where I can fix anything
what is this paragraph for??
this is for me not school
well what is it for??
like what is it supposed to be saying??
thats the first paragraph
any tips?
Im writing a little story
Any tips on the paragraph,tips..
i say that you should not get to the part where there is suspense so quickly. like there should be a back round to why Nikki's in the forest.
idk why
I just made that up because I had a dream about that.
interesting. well it was nice helping you
very good(even though i read it before). you can but her breath was cayght with words, words that couldn't gather enough strength to come out
why'd she scream?
That was my dream. I cant think of what happens next.. so that could be a question. Could anyone here help?
As she grasped,she looked around noticing a pair of eyes glowing in the shadows ahead??
Good idea
yeah i guess..
yea! and then she starts running, tripping over stuff. she hears heavy footsteps behind her and she scrambles up a hill. when she looks back, she sees...um...help?
OMG you guys rock!
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