tripping...falling...learning
one step changed my life. One step turned out to be the worst mistake, yet the most valuable. I took a step and accidentally tripped over the old, brown, wooden steps. Down and down i went. Thump!thump!thump! Although the stairway ws not very long, the stairs looked forever on-going. My head started to spin and felt heavy. Blood dripped down my forehead as my ear-piercing scream sliced through the heavy summer air. Since my scream ws so loud, my friend's grandma came running down the stairs after me. A trail of dark blood marked my path of horror. A total nightmare. Petrified, i desperately tried to grab onto the railing, but failed at my attempt. Why this changed my life you ask? Because I learned to always becareful where i step. Physically, and in life. I learned that there are many roads for us to take in life, and it is up to us to make the best possible choice for ourselves. This memory not only left a mark on my forehead, but also in my life. A dent in the road I'm traveling, the journey that I am taking.
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12 comments:
very good! maybe you could explain a little more about how the trip relates to life.
well... where do you think this would fit in?: I stepped without being careful and ended up hurt, regretting the step that made me fall. This situation can apply to life itself. One wrong decision can put you in a lot of trouble. One wrong turn can make you regret forever.
do you think this is good? where should i add it?
add it after where it says "Why this changed my lfe you ask?"
okay. I'll add it on my paper.
thx!
that was excellent.i could see u used show not tell, but next time i think its better to make it without asking questions
this is good and was very discriptive like i could draw it but it could be better if you didnt ask questions.
It was written so well it was like a movie in my head, GOOD JOB!
so I'll take out the question. thanks for the advice! anything else that you think needs fixing?
nothing else needs fixing
its perfect now
what did this teach u and how did it change u as a person
read the second comment, Hossam!
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